we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

April 9, 2012, 8:26 pm. First, if you cant live without someone, why did you need a break? The entire point of my post(s) is that the paternity laws in this country (which is a central consideration of the letter and the story) are out of whack and unbalanced to the point of being unfairly punitive to men. She has every right to be shocked and upset about the turn of the events, but the way she is reacting; blaming everything on the woman, judging her, calling HER names, is wrong and she comes off as an immature, witchy teenager. Seriously, doesnt anyone get off on oral anymore? She experiences an allergic reaction and has to be rushed to the hospital. My boyfriend got another girl pregnant. What should we do? We have no guarantee that the mother will be as good a single parent as those mentioned in this discussion. I dont think hes scum based on this either. Reviewing this the next day, Im even less convinced that the letter is real Id be happy for signs otherwise but assuming it is, thats good advice. Its such a heated issue, because everyone knows someone that has some sort of baby-mama-drama on one side or the other. My hand felt like someone smacked a block of ice with a hammer. Oh, and of course, hes also called a dick, and ass, and other choice names. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. Be responsible for your own bodies and your own choices. Part of the reason I feel no one should be forced to be a parent is that those who are forced to be parents often cause the most lasting damage to the children. Your biological child. He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). John Rohan So, really, I guess I disagree with the majority of the comments here. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can.. Honestly, why would you want to put yourself in a permanent relationship who a) has encouraged his baby mommy to abort the child for the sake of convenience and 2) who has sex with people he cannot stand? SpaceySteph bittergaymark And finally we see what youre doing ranting about paternity laws and mens rights on a relationship advice site. Id drop this guy in a heartbeat. savannah If you choose to live in an area known to be frequented by storks then you have no one but yourself to blame if you become a parent. Men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement. Pardon me, butare you fucking KIDDING me?! Its just that all the other concepts that get us to the point of support arent gender blind yet. Um, I dont think anyone actually said that. I'm devastated and broken. There is no child at conception very good. He found her annoying but still slept with herI think this was pretty assholish behavior. Not to say that a single mother cannot give a child the support she needs alone, but as the father if you wash your hands of being in the childs life, you do not KNOW or even have a reasonable expectation (especially if shes a one night stand youve only known for 2 minutes) that the mother will be a sufficient parent. Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. Oh wow, that was longer than I expected. Mostly for the kid though, I think. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. Your logic is weird. But what can I do? *ETA: also, most of my comments on here are usually light-heardely dumbed down just to lighten the mood a little. My Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant Before We Started Dating, What BTW, has he heard about condoms?? April 9, 2012, 4:18 pm. We started dateing again and have been for about 3 months and we have plans to save money and get an apartment. I accept that its the law, just like its the law that you basically have to get raped by an ultrasound device in Texas in order to get an abortion. Steve Kellmeyer I told him to stay with her and have this family as I dont want to be any cause for them breaking up, but he told me there was no way he was staying with her because he cant stand her. reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): A I dont think a woman should ever have to have an abortion, but if the father decides early on that he doesnt want the child, I think he should have the same rights to get out of it as the woman does. That is pretty much it. Turns out it wasnt even his kid (thats another story), but she showed up at his work, called him repeatedly in the middle of the night, and physically assaulted his friends girlfriend in a parking lot. Fix Your Communication Problem. and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. And as a grown adult; as a person whos lived 40 years and should have acquired a sense of decency and maturity; you should own up to the consequences of your actions. personally i think this is a confusing, gray area that Im not sure I know the answer to. He probably knows shell be a lousy mother. It really doesnt help the LW at all and doesnt belong here but here we go. At which point, no matter what form the chastisement comes, feminists are going to be looking for REAL men..and not finding them. I honestly dont believe any of this will ever be an issue for you. It takes two to tango my dear your boyfriend is as much to blame as this woman. What Your Breakup Will Tell You About Your Ex-Girlfriend - Luvze He said theres only a chance. She and Jimmy were going to raise their children together. He begged me not to go, but I left anyway because I didnt think things would change and I wanted him to see what life was like without me in hopes hed run after me. Again, this was the perfect time to walk away, and end it with him. People in healthy relationships dont say that. Male victims being forced to pay child support, while extremely rare, I agree is sad and unfair to those boys. What kind of person he got into a new relationship with. Also, when you call people honey constantly or tell them to go read a lawbook(?) Pardon my French but if youre going to stick your dick into a stranger, you need to take birth control into your own hands and not rely on her word alone. If he doesnt own up to his part in creating a child, sorry, I think hes a jerk. That is not her fault. But, are you willing to pay for his mistakes. They arent bad people because of it. Ive heard of stuff like this from friends of mine, where theyve been in relationships and their BF finds out his ex got pregnant and blah blah blah so take it as you will, I guess. Is anyone else eagerly anticipating the update to this one? First of all, they knew each other for two months, not two minutes. He actually did believe he was the dad, which means he actually did cheat with this other woman. April 9, 2012, 2:37 pm, Well, its always possible that shes NOT in her right mind. Merely that it is an immense expense for the man for a situation that he didnt want a situation which, as I said, the woman is never forced to endure. April 10, 2012, 9:47 am. But, the real reason you can't let go is because you feel bad that you've invested 4 years into this relationship hoping it would lead to something, and all you got is heartbreak, and him getting another woman pregnant. reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): A April 9, 2012, 12:55 pm, Im sure there are many, many women who would argue that its not all rainbows and butterflies in attaining child support. I just think its extremely scumbag-ish to want nothing to do with your child, no matter how it was conceived. Steve Kellmeyer You have no opinion in this matter. Get tested for an std too because your love obviously did not use a condom. Whatever. Also, at least here in this state, its not in any way an easy thing to get out of paying, and I think its relatively difficult to avoid paying child support unless youre essentially a transient or if the woman doesnt make much of an effort to get support. April 9, 2012, 3:07 pm. The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. Their choice, honey. I just found out that someone he had slept with before we got back together is pregnant. AndreaMarie datechguy illinois obituaries 2020 . We ended up keeping in touch for months and talked about working things out. Freeze your sperm and get a vasectomy. Deal with it, ladies. slept with someone else. However, hey, feel free to pretend its still 2000 BC. But, seriously you should both get tested for STDs. Men dont pay child support during gestation only when there is an actually living child is in the world that has physical needs. Malarky. April 9, 2012, 3:44 pm. But I almost laughed out loud when I read untrappable. Not that she had the audacity to get pregnant after sex but for keeping the baby. Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Continuing along the lines of what John Rohan said above (maybe way above, because Im at work and my reply will take some time to type surreptitiously): The LW and the guy broke up. Oh, in a perfect world, kerrycontrary Top 49 Girlfriend Jokes 1. I brought my girlfriend home and introduced Any advice on this would be appreciated as Im so confused and hurt. And he wants absolutely nothing to do with that baby? If you know you absolutely dont want kids, do everything you can to prevent them. reader, Lisa Belize+, writes (22 September 2009): A Paraphrased of course. She asked what to do with this guy. Chuck(le) For all the reasons stated in the comments, women just cannot be forced into motherhood quite like a man can be forced into fatherhood. reader, iz07a+, writes (11 March 2010): A bittergaymark If it is his child, he owes the child at least something. April 9, 2012, 12:16 pm. Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards? . But the woman needs to be prepared to accept his involvement as strictly financial. If you cant handle the though of having a baby, you take precautions (condoms, birth control, vasectomy, abstinence even) and when babies happen, because they do even with protection, you take responsibility for it. But again the adoption makes that all moot. Both parties should be concerned about birth control. So, Chuck, despite the fact that no one is denying the fact that there are some people out there trying to game the system, Chuck, the fact that shes pregnant is equally their responsibility. Someone else has assumed it. Steve Kellmeyer He doesnt want to be with you. It's been really painful for me. He sounds a bit flakey. Been there Knock it off. Well, custody deals with life choices (what school they go to, what religion theyre raised as, what kind of medical treatments they get, etc.). The point is that no one cares about your guesswork, sunshine. What a joke. him: I would prefer if you had an abortion. How do you even know that his man was actually, really furious? Men dont have those choices if they dont want the child. That is not acceptable. 24 signs your ex-girlfriend misses you 1) She's all over your social If As for not wanting anything to do with her or her child, Im guessing that is momentary anger directed at her, not the child. Because we stayed together, she caused him a lot of stress and drama by doing things like not letting him see his kids. So then, to be clear, your point isnt that gay men are more likely to wear condoms. Dont let him use you because his life is in chaos now. Some said he deserved the label because he exposed the LW to STDs. That would be the end of any sort of relationship sex. You and the baby are the victims. Thats shitty. Men cant choose to abort because biology dictates that the fetus is not in their body. He might very well be an immature asshole. But hes no knight in shining armor because he is willing to bare some legally minimal level of responsibility. This asshole is not the answer. So, therefore, Im not so sure what you are finding so hard to get over about him, and why do you let him keep coming back into your life?

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