my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

There are ways to maintain physical intimacy while someone undergoes treatment for ED. They need not be. Cancer is pretty much a death sentence. We men are so caught up in our egos . It may also be helpful for her to speak with her doctor to see if there are other treatment options that might help. My husband has no sex drive at all. he will not give me a divorce so yes take a lover if you need too cause feeling wanted, desired, and loved, is like food we all need it and deserve it! Recently, he has been distant unloving and disrespectful towards me. She would reluctantly use lubrication when I complained and promised to find a solution. I mistakenly intercepted several text Wow wish my hubby was so attentive as you! 57mwm here. So maybe try treating he how you did when first met. My Boyfriend Doesn't Seem Interested in Me Sexually Anymore: 11 Reasons He's Lost Interest 1. But many times women holds back based on how they are treated. I love my wife even if we have not had sex for close to 6 years. you probably love your husband, or at least the person he once was when you were first together. I refuse to live out my life not feeling special. I Don't Want To Touch My Husband Anymore (What Could Be Wrong?) Monica..give her satisfaction .. that is exactly what I would love to do for my wife of 30 years. With the help of psychotherapist Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), who specializes in marriage and family counseling, lets unravel the reasons behind why theres no intimacy in your marriage from your wife, so you can ascertain the difference between an unloving wife or one who has subliminally been trying to send you a message. So now a hug one a day (maybe) and pecks on lips when leaving house. Together we have seen a number of therapists with not much luck but felt I owed it to her to try and fix things. This break down could be for a number of reasons: Some are directly related to her man. I found him to be the most attractive man Ive ever met! If your wife thinks she may have vaginal atrophy, I hope shell see a knowledgeable doctor or pelvic floor therapist to get a diagnosis and treatment plan that can alleviate her discomfort. Yes, its so hurtful and completely discouraging. For senior sex news, tips, event and webinar announcements, and special offers,join Joans mailing list. So the time has come to find a willing older gal and have an affair and feel alive and like a man again Resentment in the marriage eventually leads to conflict and arguments. He has with held sex before, once or twice when he was mad at me a couple of times in the past 18 year, that was my punishment. She saw her doctor and prescribed a lube but it irritated her. I always talk to her and ask what turns her on. But it also means were in a status quo that just isnt satisfying. Meanwhile, I encourage you to keep masturbating. Ive been in one for about 47 years and Im the cause of it. About 5 years ago (we've been married 29) she started not wanting me to touch her breasts as much and over time stopped letting me touch them altogether. There is a lot more going on there. I work, cook, clean, fix I dont drink or do any drugs. Im guessing because you are complaining that your 59 year old husband is fat, lazy, snores and is demanding is the reason you dont have sex anymore? Are you a fit 55 year old woman with a high sex drive? To send your questions directly to Joan, email sexpert@seniorplanet.org. I have come to that conclusion also. Spend the same time you are researching and pursuing prostitutesworking out and looking healthier and bettering your relationship. As for porn, I dont mind it at all when he watches it (though he thinks I never see him), after all, we are all human and have drives and needs. But, as we have read many time here, that it is OK for the woman/wife to force her husband into a sexless marriage. Please go find someone else to enjoy sex with if you can. I made the decision that I would just say screw it and NOT think about sex at all. It may be helpful for her to speak with her doctor about her struggles with libido, if relevant, to see if an adjustment in her treatment plan may help. An underlying, undetectedmental health issue can affect sex drive. The only relief that I get from my pain is physical pleasure. Theres more to life than that, theres more to life than escapingtheres connecting deeper with your partner, taking more trips, spending more time together, learning more skills, building or supporting others together, getting involved in your communities more! So selfish and controlling . Sound off: What are some other practical things you can do as a husband to increase intimacy? Shes just not attracted to me and personally, Im not sure she ever was. So much hurt involved, and guilt. Still, feeling like your wife doesnt want sex anymore? It will only create more distance between you. You can find a sitter and really focus on each other. Once the children appeared on the scene I would never have done anything that would risk us splitting up. Thank goodness we get along well in every other area, however Im at a loss. I was married for 24 years. First few years sex was great. Were currently stuck at #3, but I have a feeling #1 is gaining ground and will ultimately prevail. But I still love my wife dearly and have no desire to cheat on her. . We dont understand anything about foreplay or romance. I always ask if Im doing the right things and she says yes. Have you ever considered WHY your wife doesnt want to have sex anymore? No sex for about 20 years. You may find that your perception of the situation is extremely different than theirs . Each time she claims to like having sex, but is just tired! I understand, Im in the same position, although not as long of a time period without sex. Frankly, Im ready for a change of scene because this is like living with someone who it seems might be happier living off by himself. Youd do things her way, when she wanted it, or else its divorce rape in the courts. Why do you think Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got divorced?? He expects lunch and dinner to be made for him every day, He drinks beer by the gallon and he gives nothing to this marriage. Tell her how much I love her. I agree, once they stop theres nothing thats going to get them interested or willing to do it again. Some women have no idea of how belittled this makes a man feel, and its not just a matter of getting our rocks off since we can do that ourselves. When a wife who has to cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, pick the kids up from school and take a couple of classes she is too tired to perform another task after all that she has done in one day. What is the solution? Nothing physical. I met a man at work a while back, he was attracted to me, he was in a sexless marriage (so he said). For most women, sexual desire is fueled by romantic feelings for their partner. Holy Cow, I have about had it. I want that back in my life as well! If you notice your wife acting awkward or becoming extremely tense when you try to touch her, it means she is not liking the fact that you are being physical. Hi, Nice advice. Read the first sentence again. Though she died quickly sex was never discussed and I can assure you my marriage was a bed of rock. Do I disgust her? This seems to be the one thing that cannot change (no medical conditions preventing sex). For a short time shed schedule sex once a week whether or not she felt like itbut then menopause hit and sex dwindled again, diminishing to once or twice a year until we stopped having sex altogether. I really miss the intimacy we used to have when we were sexual. 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. Its not as rosy on our side of the fence, when you really look into it. We are both in our Sixties now and have been married for over 35 years and apart for a few occasions, birthdays etc my wife just hasnt been interested. Emotional connection is the starter and it is counterproductive if her man is resentful or walking around with head down and needy. When theres a disconnect and communication gaps that lead to resentment, the hostility will make itself apparent in some way or the other, says Gopa. If theres resentment in the marriage, its bound to manifest itself in a sexless marriage. Here are some reasons you can try if your wife doesnt initiate intimacy with you and you want her to be intimate. While its good to get to the root of the problem so you can resume a healthy. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. She has to try, and she should want to try for your sake if not hers. Its not an option. The first and most important thing you should do if your wife is never in the mood is talk about it. We werent intimate back then, and a quirk of fate brought us together recently. My current wife was 49 and I was 54 when we met and sex was twice a day for over a year, When she proposed to me, I raesoned that she was a good friend and sex was more then satisfactory, so I accepted. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. I do most of the household chores, she doesnt work outside the home, and hasnt since weve been married i constantly compliment her looks,I have been striving for decades to woo her, and sex is now completely off the table, and she wont even cuddle or kiss. Its easy to see why such discord will eventually manifest itself in the bedroom. Nor, should they be. I just gave up. Who knows, maybe something will change as nothing stays the same. I spoil her all the time. That said, you should also think about how youre trying to arouse your wife. I think that the advice to seek a trained sex therapist, and the encouragement to increase communication between this man and his wife is appropriate and excellent. I have tried everything too, to no avail, things only get worse, not better. Without this love, there isn't much for the relationship to stand on. Men you just need to treat her like you used to treat her before you married her every day and she will keep treating you like she did before you married her. With so many of us in similar situations, it would be nice if we could just reshuffle the deck, at least in this one area. No human being should dominate another person. Does Thunderbird mean anything to you? Ill keep this short, but I could write a short novel. When a woman notices that you have an affinity for what she loves, she gets curious, thereby increasing her desire for you. My ex was 16 years younger then me. Maybe we should start a group. Please explain to me. Dianne. Sucks to be me, right! Demanding sex is not way to go, maybe we would like to hear her opinion. but you most certainly are putting up with it, by acquiescing your role in your own home and your role as the male in your relationship. Yet we are burdened with the biologically and Darwinian drive to procreate. I have the same problem and there isnt a answer. Divorce? If so, it could be that the side effects of her depression, or even the medication she is on to treat it, are lowering her libido. I think he wanted to stay in his marriagemainly I think b/c his wife earns well (makes more money than him). Thanks for pointing out that marriage therapy can also help with problems about having a sexless marriage. I hope that she too will woo me, always, as well. Truthfully, the solo routine is rather old. If she senses youre blaming her for something, shell go on the defensive. This isnt totally new for him either. I realize this rant may seem to be about my needs, but I think I deserve the right to a fulfilling life. But on the other side Id the coin, Im dying for not having any kind of touch. We have done counseling and it always comes back to my issues which I work on but have never seen any change from her. Bring back date night (without the pressure to have sex), or simply spend more time talking to each other about your inner worlds: your feelings, your fears, your frustrations, your hopes and dreams. 3. Share This: Have a question about relationships and sex for seniors? He is impotent due to hydrocele and he plans to have surgery until hes 65. But, if we actually *wish* to engage our brains, we do have the brains that God gave us, the brains through with which we can engage in thoughtful interpretation of facts. No love no sex. Really connect. My Wife Loves Me But Doesn't Want Sex: Why & What To Do - YourTango I feared marriage for tears because I knew this is what it would be. Her duty? Being uncomfortable in their own skin and ashamed of the extra weight is a common reason why women start avoiding physical intimacy with their spouses. Menopause can affect a woman's sexual functioning, supportive of a partner struggling with mental health, it's OK to not want sex with your partner, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25855662/, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5994393/. Add to this many complications: conditioning from childhood, feeling you are being used for someone elses pleasure, not being attracted, not meeting your partner at the same emotional level. Step out of your own hurt feelings and into her world. I told him if he didnt want a divorce, he should feel free to find date outside the marriage, and if anything serious developed, we would revisit the divorce option. It sounds like you need a little bad-boy edge to get her engine revving. Try DHEA. Childbirth is a life-altering experience thats not just hard on a womans body but also her mind. Maybe it will make a difference, good luck. Must he provide her preferred amount of resources (which is much higher than he himself needs) while also accepting her preferred amount of sex (which is much lower than he himself needs) under the guise of equality? contrasts what my Wife and her 7 siblings and and an unstable Mother made her as the oldest have us take in 2 of her brothers early in our marriage. Rejection soon turns into resentment. Harley, I am doing none of those things. It Might pass , 45 is menopausal years and I was once told by a friend older than me at the time that it can be like a light switch once you are through menopause and that can be true because what drives sexual desire , it has much to do with hormones and post menopause or during, a women losses a tremendous amount of hormones and hormone replacement ( they will many x use birth control for that) makes one sick or intolerant and I have read many articles in the past that hormone replacement can put one of high risk of cancer in older women, please I am far from a Dr. not even close, but this is what I have gathered along the way. An undiagnosed, underlying medical condition can also be the reason for a decreased sex drive. Marriage is a dream or a fantasy. What r u holding on for?! Then extreme back problems thru me into disability. Weekly turned into Monthly then every 3 or 4 months question about sex. That leaves us with so many perverts running around today inept at forming a real relationship, fantasy is in sadly. We had sex once last year and it had been a while prior to that, but she told me that due to the pain and all, she doesnt want to do it any more. Wednesday, August 30, 2017 The only difference is that if we separate I will not have the van!! I realized that her life and passion are our girls (which she refers to as her girls).

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