funny response to are you still alive

No, not really. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. It's all about confidence. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Getting better with every passing second. So much better than most people. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. (Use a sexy tone). Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. 71. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. This one is bound to get a laugh. Is everything stable at your end? Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. 4. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Socioeconomically? Then the worms eat you. What to say when your crush asks how you are? I'm wondering how you are. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. How impressive! It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Reply. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts I just woke up like that one day. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. . Best 45 seconds of my life. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. 26. 96. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. You a cop? Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Heart-shattering. 15. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes 6. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Opposites attract, right? How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Funny as phuck. funny response to are you still alive Best "How Are You?" Answers. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! 2. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Oh, stop it, will you? Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. There is plenty of room. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. I hope you like some of them. I will leave that up to your imagination. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Usually, people live and learn. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. 61. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Could be better, though. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. We all grow up as we get older. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Stupidity isnt a crime. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. 10. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Could Be Payday. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? You just have bad luck at thinking. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Dont get caught with nothing to say. You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends . Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Not bad. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. funny response to are you still alive. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Dont let your mind wander. I'm overqualified! When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. 57. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Not everybody may appreciate them. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy 11. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Still, the ghosters ghost on. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. 80. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. via: Pexels / George Pak. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. My bad, its just your mouth. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Just look what happened there! Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. 22. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. - Anonymous. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 *Siri activates front camera*. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. 59. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Im not single. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Feeling confident? You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. No? 51. Why do you ask? He sold it to me on his deathbed. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Youre a ground-hugger. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? 13. Don Draper? funny response to are you still alive. 4. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. 3. Thats why Im single. Are those space pants? Hi! I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. 3. All rights reserved. 84. 81. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! How Am I Still Alive. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Use the opportunity to make a good impression. a fate worse than death." I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Financially? I am not sure what you mean. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. Then they throw dirt in your face. Youre not as bad as everyone says. At minding my own business? 18. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. Steven Wright (comedian). Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. It's quite the accomplishment. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Could have been worse, right. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. I'm afraid I can't do that. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Its going great, really! Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. I'm loved! The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Im single by choice. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 9. Thank you, it made my day. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Physically? Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 2. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 52. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Better inside than outside. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Dave Barry (author). [deleted] 5 yr. ago. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 35. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. You should really come with a warning label. Living the dream! Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 18. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Not. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? 77. Were already married, remember?! Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns Are you going to marry me? I learned my lesson. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. 90. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 2. 1. I only fall in love with anime characters. Mentally? Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. 43. Yup, I dont share it. Because they are already taking their time. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Im sorry. 94. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. But, they will grow up into a dog. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! You look tired. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Not so much. It's best part of the whole movie. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! 86. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Privacy Policy. 3. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 1. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. 28. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Youre totally on the same page. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Share the best GIFs now >>> I never even listen when you tell me them. To contact our editors please use our contact form. But it can be funny. I was doing great, before you came. Call the police." 13 Quora User Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 6. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Chuck Bass? I just adore my own company. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 17. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. I suggest you do a little soul searching. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" 8. 9. 10. 13. Oh, well 8. original sound - Tyren Sams. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . 99. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. 75. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade The best GIFs are on GIPHY. I really thought you already knew. Me being single is just a conspiracy! I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. I cant even afford to feed myself! It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Nice outfit. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. (Say it like he or. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Siri, why am I still single? Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! I think I am doing alright. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Are you serious? I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Now that is pretty f****** funny. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition Just Smile And Nod 1. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Does the new one work any better? Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Well, are you? 63. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. 14. Congratulations, sir. Mentally? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. 7. Being single is much better than being married. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Another way to say Still Alive? 6. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? 2. But, whats the likelihood of that happening?

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